Settling In Settling Down
*
The boy, Aek, on his way to work, spotted him in the gay soi, put his hands together and gave a big grin of recognition in that charming way that only the Thai men can do and one crooked finger later it was all arranged. The mamasan was paid and they were on their way. If the apartment was expensive then its close proximity to Patpong and the night club area, with all the go go bars a bare ten minutes away, was proving an additional cost. The waiters in the cafe where he had been sitting beamed at him; as if they finally understood. Before they had looked at him askance, serving him whisky knowing he was already drunk, moi, moi, moi mak mak, sensing that something was deeply awry, but now he was sober, just drinking coke without the whisky, just taking a final turn through the sois on his way home from the meeting, just telling stories. As sincere as a Thai sex worker, he had said the other day, but in their way, when you spent so much time with them, paid them well, treated them well, there were flashes of astonishing intimacy, and laughter, there on the couch and here in the aging heart; and while it might be a ghastly thought; he hadn't liked his own body for at least a decade now and age was doing nothing to help the drooping form, he hadn't had so much sex in years. And finally, finally, he was beginning to relax.
Today was his birthday, 58, and now there was no use pretending he wasn't closer to 60 than 50 and he wasn't going to live forever. There were cruel times; that was for sure; but suddenly the load had lightened, or been lightened for him perhaps, and the friends he was beginning to make and the old friends from Australia he was meeting up with again in Bangkok, it was all part of the fabric, where he was now, in the heart of things. And if strangers were wary, if some of the biggest arseholes on the earth went to meetings, it didn't stop him. There was a horse leaping. There was boundless optimism. There was a skyline he watched with fascination at every passing shade of the day, when everything that was wrong suddenly turned right. He was awake at five to five desite the charms of the night, oh my God too much information, and he walked briskly down Si Lom Road to Limpini Park, looking for the Falun Dafa practice site. It was as good a way as any to start the day; to transform the mash that his head had become. Despite elaborate instructions from several sources, including the internet, he had trouble finding the site. There wasn't any way out, but this was a way out. The negative frames of thought just kept folding in upon themselves, as if nothing would solve itself and yet everything had already been resolved; as if all problems had been resolved and he just didn't recognise it.
Like the medical condition where the wound will stay inflamed although there is no infection; as if the body hadn't realised that everyting was fixed and there was no cause for alarm, so his thought patterns turned screwy at a moments notice and obsessional conduct gave way to good cheer and good manners. So the waiters grinned at him because they suddenly understood him; because he was going with someone just like them, obviously Thai, obviously a man. While the flouncy boys from the massage parlour, who's blandishments he had ignored over many nights, continued their chatter, still pressed their advertising on him: four hand boy massage 900 baht; and he listened as one of them spoke intensely to one of the waiters, drifting in and out of English, perhaps intentionally so he could understand. I stay with one man, falang, foreigner, for one year, only one man, and now I am here, he said, gesturing at the skimpy shorts that were the parlour's uniform, gesturing as if nothing could be more humiliating, demeaning, beneath his talents and beneath his worth, how low can you go. And Aek just beamed because he knew he would be happy, and make him happy, and at least for some everything was alright with the world.
Things would change, were changing dramatically. He had been asked to be the speaker at the meeting, even though they knew he hated speaking and would do almost anything to avoid it. Perhaps on purpose. I don't know why, he said. I was a journalist for a quarter of a century. I'm not entirely inarticulate. Perhaps because in silence there is safety; no one can sneer if you say nothing, no one can be free if they remain in chains; visions, vistas, landscapes, movement through the station. There are hardly any tourists in Bangkok, and their absence is a singular joy. Even Nana, one of the tourist centres, is quiet, and where once it was almost impossible to get through the street stalls and the crushing crowds that thronged the sidewalk, now you could walk with ease. Tehre were many advantages. There was time and space out of mind. There were simple days and crushed leaves; and his mind quietened with the meditation exercises he watched a giant centrepede crawl across the grass. An announcement, only in Thai, came across Limpini Park's sound system. Behind him, a group practised their singing; and the melodic notes mixed with everything else that was the park. He couldn't be free; but he could be unshackled. He could grin full bore and run his hands across some boy's stomach: you are very handsome. That much English they did know. So if there was no connection to a former life; there had to be new ways of making money.
I know that soi, Chris said. I used to do tricks for the rich Thai boys, he said. There was a stage a few years ago when they all wanted foreigners. That seems to have changed now; but for a while I did well.
It's an endlessly fascinating place, that's all he could say.
THE BIGGER STORY:
http://www.abc.net.au/am/content/2010/s2932154.htm
TONY EASTLEY: The Federal Government fears have been confirmed - its primary vote remains at a record low. Today's Newspoll has Labor's primary vote stuck on 35 per cent, that's five points behind the Coalition.
But based on the distribution of preferences from the 2007 election, Labor retains an election-winning lead of 52 to 48 per cent. Support for Kevin Rudd has dipped again, and now some of that support has gone to the Opposition Leader, Tony Abbott.
Alexandra Kirk is speaking here with Newspoll's Martin O'Shannessy.
MARTIN O'SHANNESSY: Well we certainly see nothing gained for the Government or in particular the Opposition in voting position. But I think another tough couple of weeks for Prime Minister Rudd and really Tony Abbott discovering the value of a low-profile target position has lead to the only major change in the poll, which is an improvement in Tony Abbott's better prime minister position.
Now he is only nine points behind the Prime Minister, at 46 for the Prime Minister and 37 for Tony Abbott. Three weeks ago that was a 16-point lead, 49 to 33. So, otherwise the polls really haven't moved.
ALEXANDRA KIRK: How much is due to the way people view Kevin Rudd versus their view of the Government?
MARTIN O'SHANNESSY: Now that's pretty hard to untangle cause what we see is both a fall in optimism for the Government and a fall off of support for Kevin Rudd at the same time. But the big change in Labor primary vote came about four Newspolls ago when we also saw Kevin Rudd's personal rating fall rapidly as well.
I think this is probably part of the Government's problem, that there's been such a presidential lead from the front sort of style from Mr Rudd, which of course has tied the Government's ratings very closely to his personal ratings.
ALEXANDRA KIRK: So you would put it down to Kevin Rudd's affect on people?
MARTIN O'SHANNESSY: Well I think if you look at what's happened recently; the analysis being that Tony Abbott hasn't been highly active and has improved his position. That suggests that the issues about where the Government's going are definitely about Mr Rudd rather than about Mr Abbott.
ALEXANDRA KIRK: Now that Kevin Rudd has decided to a talk to the Greens about an emissions trading scheme if he managed to do some sort of deal, do you think that would markedly change things?
MARTIN O'SHANNESSY: I think some people from the Government's side have actually enunciated that, that they need a simple credible message about carbon trading, about the ETS and they need to achieve something in that area.
Their stepping away from the ETS was certainly the trigger for the fall in voter support for this Government, so you'd imagine that if they were to repair their position it would start there.
http://www.intrepidtravel.com/australia/ozcgoogleozwin?s_kwcid=TC|18721|trip%2520australia|www.brisbanetimes.com.au|C||4360245611&gclid=COmXnqGLsKICFcpS6wodUVxzEA
PENRITH has spoken with a crystalline, unmissable clarity. Before the poll, the Premier, Kristina Keneally, warned of a possible 30 per cent swing against the government. Some commentators said she was exaggerating - trying to ensure a smaller swing would seem somehow not too bad. But in some booths the swing against Labor was more than 30 per cent, and overall it was such that one in four voters switched allegiances - a record in NSW by-elections, according to the analyst Antony Green. True, byelections often magnify swings against the incumbent party. But half this swing would still be a disaster. Byelection or not, for Labor this result is an utter rout.
Keneally's tactic has been to stay well away during the campaign so as not to be visibly associated with the disaster. It will not work. She is a fresh face, probably the best Labor has to offer. But she carries all Labor's baggage; it is too much to bear for someone expected to turn the party's fortunes around.
Penrith for Labor in 2010 is what Bass was for Gough Whitlam in 1975, and Bass Hill for Barrie Unsworth in 1986. It is a straw in the wind - but one wind blown so far and so fast by the wind of public opinion that it has reached cyclone force.
The boy, Aek, on his way to work, spotted him in the gay soi, put his hands together and gave a big grin of recognition in that charming way that only the Thai men can do and one crooked finger later it was all arranged. The mamasan was paid and they were on their way. If the apartment was expensive then its close proximity to Patpong and the night club area, with all the go go bars a bare ten minutes away, was proving an additional cost. The waiters in the cafe where he had been sitting beamed at him; as if they finally understood. Before they had looked at him askance, serving him whisky knowing he was already drunk, moi, moi, moi mak mak, sensing that something was deeply awry, but now he was sober, just drinking coke without the whisky, just taking a final turn through the sois on his way home from the meeting, just telling stories. As sincere as a Thai sex worker, he had said the other day, but in their way, when you spent so much time with them, paid them well, treated them well, there were flashes of astonishing intimacy, and laughter, there on the couch and here in the aging heart; and while it might be a ghastly thought; he hadn't liked his own body for at least a decade now and age was doing nothing to help the drooping form, he hadn't had so much sex in years. And finally, finally, he was beginning to relax.
Today was his birthday, 58, and now there was no use pretending he wasn't closer to 60 than 50 and he wasn't going to live forever. There were cruel times; that was for sure; but suddenly the load had lightened, or been lightened for him perhaps, and the friends he was beginning to make and the old friends from Australia he was meeting up with again in Bangkok, it was all part of the fabric, where he was now, in the heart of things. And if strangers were wary, if some of the biggest arseholes on the earth went to meetings, it didn't stop him. There was a horse leaping. There was boundless optimism. There was a skyline he watched with fascination at every passing shade of the day, when everything that was wrong suddenly turned right. He was awake at five to five desite the charms of the night, oh my God too much information, and he walked briskly down Si Lom Road to Limpini Park, looking for the Falun Dafa practice site. It was as good a way as any to start the day; to transform the mash that his head had become. Despite elaborate instructions from several sources, including the internet, he had trouble finding the site. There wasn't any way out, but this was a way out. The negative frames of thought just kept folding in upon themselves, as if nothing would solve itself and yet everything had already been resolved; as if all problems had been resolved and he just didn't recognise it.
Like the medical condition where the wound will stay inflamed although there is no infection; as if the body hadn't realised that everyting was fixed and there was no cause for alarm, so his thought patterns turned screwy at a moments notice and obsessional conduct gave way to good cheer and good manners. So the waiters grinned at him because they suddenly understood him; because he was going with someone just like them, obviously Thai, obviously a man. While the flouncy boys from the massage parlour, who's blandishments he had ignored over many nights, continued their chatter, still pressed their advertising on him: four hand boy massage 900 baht; and he listened as one of them spoke intensely to one of the waiters, drifting in and out of English, perhaps intentionally so he could understand. I stay with one man, falang, foreigner, for one year, only one man, and now I am here, he said, gesturing at the skimpy shorts that were the parlour's uniform, gesturing as if nothing could be more humiliating, demeaning, beneath his talents and beneath his worth, how low can you go. And Aek just beamed because he knew he would be happy, and make him happy, and at least for some everything was alright with the world.
Things would change, were changing dramatically. He had been asked to be the speaker at the meeting, even though they knew he hated speaking and would do almost anything to avoid it. Perhaps on purpose. I don't know why, he said. I was a journalist for a quarter of a century. I'm not entirely inarticulate. Perhaps because in silence there is safety; no one can sneer if you say nothing, no one can be free if they remain in chains; visions, vistas, landscapes, movement through the station. There are hardly any tourists in Bangkok, and their absence is a singular joy. Even Nana, one of the tourist centres, is quiet, and where once it was almost impossible to get through the street stalls and the crushing crowds that thronged the sidewalk, now you could walk with ease. Tehre were many advantages. There was time and space out of mind. There were simple days and crushed leaves; and his mind quietened with the meditation exercises he watched a giant centrepede crawl across the grass. An announcement, only in Thai, came across Limpini Park's sound system. Behind him, a group practised their singing; and the melodic notes mixed with everything else that was the park. He couldn't be free; but he could be unshackled. He could grin full bore and run his hands across some boy's stomach: you are very handsome. That much English they did know. So if there was no connection to a former life; there had to be new ways of making money.
I know that soi, Chris said. I used to do tricks for the rich Thai boys, he said. There was a stage a few years ago when they all wanted foreigners. That seems to have changed now; but for a while I did well.
It's an endlessly fascinating place, that's all he could say.
THE BIGGER STORY:
http://www.abc.net.au/am/content/2010/s2932154.htm
TONY EASTLEY: The Federal Government fears have been confirmed - its primary vote remains at a record low. Today's Newspoll has Labor's primary vote stuck on 35 per cent, that's five points behind the Coalition.
But based on the distribution of preferences from the 2007 election, Labor retains an election-winning lead of 52 to 48 per cent. Support for Kevin Rudd has dipped again, and now some of that support has gone to the Opposition Leader, Tony Abbott.
Alexandra Kirk is speaking here with Newspoll's Martin O'Shannessy.
MARTIN O'SHANNESSY: Well we certainly see nothing gained for the Government or in particular the Opposition in voting position. But I think another tough couple of weeks for Prime Minister Rudd and really Tony Abbott discovering the value of a low-profile target position has lead to the only major change in the poll, which is an improvement in Tony Abbott's better prime minister position.
Now he is only nine points behind the Prime Minister, at 46 for the Prime Minister and 37 for Tony Abbott. Three weeks ago that was a 16-point lead, 49 to 33. So, otherwise the polls really haven't moved.
ALEXANDRA KIRK: How much is due to the way people view Kevin Rudd versus their view of the Government?
MARTIN O'SHANNESSY: Now that's pretty hard to untangle cause what we see is both a fall in optimism for the Government and a fall off of support for Kevin Rudd at the same time. But the big change in Labor primary vote came about four Newspolls ago when we also saw Kevin Rudd's personal rating fall rapidly as well.
I think this is probably part of the Government's problem, that there's been such a presidential lead from the front sort of style from Mr Rudd, which of course has tied the Government's ratings very closely to his personal ratings.
ALEXANDRA KIRK: So you would put it down to Kevin Rudd's affect on people?
MARTIN O'SHANNESSY: Well I think if you look at what's happened recently; the analysis being that Tony Abbott hasn't been highly active and has improved his position. That suggests that the issues about where the Government's going are definitely about Mr Rudd rather than about Mr Abbott.
ALEXANDRA KIRK: Now that Kevin Rudd has decided to a talk to the Greens about an emissions trading scheme if he managed to do some sort of deal, do you think that would markedly change things?
MARTIN O'SHANNESSY: I think some people from the Government's side have actually enunciated that, that they need a simple credible message about carbon trading, about the ETS and they need to achieve something in that area.
Their stepping away from the ETS was certainly the trigger for the fall in voter support for this Government, so you'd imagine that if they were to repair their position it would start there.
http://www.intrepidtravel.com/australia/ozcgoogleozwin?s_kwcid=TC|18721|trip%2520australia|www.brisbanetimes.com.au|C||4360245611&gclid=COmXnqGLsKICFcpS6wodUVxzEA
PENRITH has spoken with a crystalline, unmissable clarity. Before the poll, the Premier, Kristina Keneally, warned of a possible 30 per cent swing against the government. Some commentators said she was exaggerating - trying to ensure a smaller swing would seem somehow not too bad. But in some booths the swing against Labor was more than 30 per cent, and overall it was such that one in four voters switched allegiances - a record in NSW by-elections, according to the analyst Antony Green. True, byelections often magnify swings against the incumbent party. But half this swing would still be a disaster. Byelection or not, for Labor this result is an utter rout.
Keneally's tactic has been to stay well away during the campaign so as not to be visibly associated with the disaster. It will not work. She is a fresh face, probably the best Labor has to offer. But she carries all Labor's baggage; it is too much to bear for someone expected to turn the party's fortunes around.
Penrith for Labor in 2010 is what Bass was for Gough Whitlam in 1975, and Bass Hill for Barrie Unsworth in 1986. It is a straw in the wind - but one wind blown so far and so fast by the wind of public opinion that it has reached cyclone force.
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