DRAFT TWO
* Why am I here, says the silence, what have I done, echoes the emptiness, why have I ruined myself... At first the Consul felt a queer relief. Now he realised he had been shot. He fell on one knee, then, with a groan, flat on his face in the grass. "Christ," he remarked, puzzled. "this is a dingy way to die." A bell spoke out. Dolente... dolore! It was raining softly. Shapes hovered by him, holding his hand, perhapts still trying to pick his pockets, or to help, or merely curious. He could feel life slivering out of him like liver, ebbing into the tenderness of the grass. He was alone. Malcolm Lowry. Now was the time, those distant cries, those shapes far-off. He was turning away, but kept looking back, even now just the memory of smiles, the shapes of lost faces, distant. He couldn't be sure of what lay ahead. He kept looking back, seeking strength, guidance, courage. Grant me decency, grant me strength. But in these strange, twisted moments, the rivers of in...